Being the most intelligent creatures to ever grace the earth, one thing seems to disturb man: time. Time doesn't seem to be enough yet it neither increases nor decreases, all factors held constant. 10 years would seem short if you are waiting for something big eg an investment to mature and the same 10 years would sound like eternity if you are in a precarious position politically socially or economically. Add romance to the concept of time and the situation becomes abit complicated, especially when the romance involves a disability.
Sometimes I think disability and romance leading to marriage is like the love between rich people. Rich people take eternity to walk down the aisle or at times don't even marry at all. Disability and wealth, have an ironic similarity. While it takes effort to maintain wealth, it takes effort to keep barriers of disability at bay. Like a business, living a well off life with a disability requires planning and sacrifice. Planning in the sense that PWDs take a longer route to achieve what the able bodied will achieve in a short while. Sacrifice in the form of forgoing some life stages because the environment is not conducive for you to experience that stage like the rest. For example, going on a date when you have a disability is more or less like going for an event. You have to look for a means of transport (which does not come cheap especially if you have a wheelchair, you can't use the Lite version of taxis) then search for a nice eating joint which is mindful of inclusion of people with disabilities. Bado hujahesabu food. Then press repeat for the journey where you came from. By the time you get home, you have experienced a considerable amount of pocket damage.
Pwds seem to tie the knot late in life because they have to get the basics right first which takes time and it's not always a guarantee things will work out. Basics here meaning education and health if the disability in question requires constant medical attention. Cases are rife with children with disabilities who start schooling in their teenage years and by the time they finish school to high school, they are in their thirties. What of those of us who, finish school have the papers but don't have a means of income, in a country that is very hesitant to absorb pwds in matters workforce? And so by the time everything is in order, physiological timeline is far much gone.
For most of us with disabilities and have the advantage of being exposed to the world via education and technology, it becomes very hard to open up to someone romantically. Why? Because we are used to doing things on our own. Again there's self doubt on whether those who claim to love us romantically really mean what they say and have proven it over time. So part of the delay is more or less a test of character to the would be life partner.
The best thing to do is not to place a timeline on when one should be off the market. Timelines create unnecessary pressure to do some life changing things without thinking them through. This would only make you a case study in the character development class 😄.
Otherwise, let's enjoy the ride. Watu wapendane.