Panic attacks, depression and physical phantom pain

[Valuable_Discussions_EnableMe]

Hello dear users,

I am new here and wanted to vent a bit of frustration. I am 24 years young and have been moderately depressed for two years. As a result, I have a panic disorder with strong physical discomfort. It all started after I broke up with my boyfriend at the time. After that I was all alone in a big city and my family was 580 km away at the time. That was also the time when my depressions came to the fore. I have always been a very emotional person and have always thought a lot, but that would knock me once so I really did not see coming.

The depression manifested itself in the classic way, I would say with listlessness, lack of drive, thoughts of suicide (paradoxical) and the cleanliness of my apartment also left a lot to be desired. I lost about 12 kilos during that time, because I didn't eat anymore, but only smoked and drank coffee. At some point I was lying in my bed and began to listen to myself and noticed a high pulse, this ritual then solidified more and more and unsettled me constantly that what was wrong with my body.

A colleague drove me to the emergency room at 24 o'clock at night with shortness of breath and palpitations. The young doctor could not find anything wrong with me and dismissed me with the words that everything was okay with me and that the suspicion of pulmonary embolism had not been confirmed. After this event, I preferred to sleep on the couch in the living room, because I felt safer there somehow. Two nights later, the whole thing started all over again, I began to shake all over my body, I became alternately hot and cold, my heart raced like crazy and I got abnormal dizzy spells. I had such a, pardon, shit fear that I would strive, that I let me the emergency doctor come home. This determined that I had a pulse of 160 beats per minute and built me up at that time with the words that he had already had 16-year-olds who died of a heart attack. I tried to get back home as soon as possible, which I finally did after half a year.

As soon as I arrived home, the panic attacks became stronger and stronger and the sensations grew. I had chest tightness, my blood seeping into my legs, tingling of the extrimities, dizziness, sweating, avoiding going out the door. I've been out maybe three or four times in the evening since then. Mostly I didn't dare and have been doing psychotherapy for about a year now. The panic attacks are still there, I can only control them better now, with the depression it is an eternal up and down and the discomforts are so much that I can't even list all the symptoms anymore.

On top of that I have a panic fear of dropping dead. I can't just go to sleep at night anymore because I'm afraid I won't live to see the next day. I simply cannot accept the finiteness at such a young age and the worst thing is that I live in a great partnership and yet I am totally unrelaxed in many things. New to this is that according to my internist I have a valve prolapse, minimally it is said, I really don't believe a word of what doctors tell me anymore, why wasn't this determined the three heart echos before?

Has anyone had similar experiences and possibly share about it?

I hope my story was not too long and too confusing for you.

Kind regards

[Valuable_Discussions_EnableMe]

Response 1:

Hello,

I am also glad that you are here in the forum. There are people here with whom you can exchange ideas and also ask questions.

I understand that you are undergoing treatment for your depression. If you don't mind me asking, did you have depression before you stopped seeing your boyfriend? You live 580 km away from your parents, did you have depression before that?

Try not to worry about the issue in your legs, it's probably not a big problem.. An NCV (nerve conduction velocity) is done. From this you can often (not always!!!) find reasons for the tingling in your legs.

Another question: are you seeing a specialist, i.e. a psychiatrist? If so, why don't you talk to him about your anxiety attacks? It would be helpful to treat them. Anxiety often occurs in a person, when they are overtaxed or traumatised, etc. It must be treated. In any case, they need to be treated.

Have you ever done relaxation therapy? In your case, Jacobson relaxation therapy would be recommended. Talk to your psychotherapist about it.

Do you have contact with your family who are 580 km away from you? You feel so alone. But you are not alone! You have a friend. You have contact persons here in the forum. You can always talk to your family on the phone. That's something, isn't it!

So, now I have asked you a lot of questions. I look forward to hearing from you! In any case, you will hear from me.

Don't look back. You can't change the past. The present is worth living, that too without fear!

All the best.

Response 2:

I am also new here....

I think an meeting with a psychiatrist, i.e. a doctor and not a psychologist, might be worth a try.

I have a son, 11 years old, who was treated by a psychologist for years because of a suspected diagnosis of autism. He became more and more panic-stricken during therapy, visibly more depressed, and eventually began to have delusions and hallucinations. He changed more and more and wanted to take his own life at the age of 10 because he didn't want to live like that any more. The psychologist practically watched him get worse and worse and said he didn't know what to do. When our son asked, crying, how deep you have to drive a knife into yourself to die, we took him to a clinic. It was the best thing we did. He was there for many months, is now well adjusted to medication and his illness is called : schizoaffective disorder. Today he is a much happier boy than he was a year ago. He will no longer see a psychologist, he stays in therapy with the clinician and that is good. We are doing much better as a family since then. My son is calmer, can sleep again, no longer has panic attacks, is hardly depressed at all, etc.

What I'm trying to say is this: It's often worth seeing a psychiatrist for panic and depression, anxiety, etc. I have made the experience that the psychologists in private practice are often overwhelmed with the really difficult or protracted cases. They are not medical doctors, do not know much about medication and sometimes it is simply a matter of a pure psychiatric illness and not a disorder that can be controlled with talking therapies. Today I blame myself that I kept trying to explain to the psychologist how bad it was and left it at that in the hope that it would get better. My son needed a doctor and medication, it is a serious illness that is extremely rare in children and is often confused with autism because there are many similarities.

Get a proper check-up at a clinic again. And chin up! First you have to get the diagnosis right, then you can really move forward!