An Autistic Adult with depression

SarahBosibori

Autistic adults are prone to depression, especially when it comes to females. Masking is the most common cause of depression because of the nature of being female, we tend to hide our feelings or suppress our autistic traits unfortunately so as to fit into society's norms. MY QUESTION IS WHO IS REALLY NORMAL? Apparently, we all have our own understanding of what normal is. I mean, to date many of us still argue about some things like, are Aliens real? Do you think the new cartoon boots that look like something from a mickey mouse episode are actually stylish or that the designer of that shoe went mad(Astro Boy shoes)😂😂🤦 Anyways back to my point, Depression as an Autistic woman can be frustrating, juggling with new challenges in life. Having to be a leader and an advocate for your own community, trying to unmask and expecting to be understood. What is unmasking??? When I really don't know who I am, there're somethings I mean we aren't guided with or given a guidebook to fit in society. The morning after every night becomes more confusing than ever, the crippling forces of the boogeyman under my bad holding me hostage, holding me tight against my bed. My thoughts running wild, my feelings because I'm in that state when will I ever not face these challenges? Knowing that I need to be okay, forget about yesterday and move forward. It's not okay not to be okay!! Sarah, you are better than this, but who am I? Anxiety levels from 0-100, feeling helpless, hopelessness. Am I just acting out or is it a meltdown, is it burnout? They say burnout may last more than a month but it feels like I'm in prison. I can't really tell and so suicidal thoughts crip in. That's when I end up breaking down like crazy, listening to some rock music so that I can get numb. Sometimes it gets hard to talk but somehow I beat the feeling and finally call on my friend who is also autistic and we talk it out. That's how something really serious is taken out of you like a burden is lifted a bit. Taking a rest is the biggest task to work on, nights quickly become days as I watch them pass. That's how intense depression can get for an autistic.

BKiwu

Wow..That's alot to deal with. But anyway. There's music as a therapy and communities such as this for you to speak out and just be yourself.

Those cartoon boots are cool but didn't have to cost an arm and a leg...😅😅😅😅

SarahBosibori

Yeah, I really was in a bad place for a week now. Though I'm coping with music and art too.

Those shoes are too damn expensive