My experience with a suicide attempt

SarahBosibori

It was a dark Friday, I was still an art student and I was at an art centre overwhelmed struggling to complete my practical assignment. As I was painting all my eyes saw was the colour red I noticed that my hands were shaking, I couldn't stabilise the grip of my brush. Immediately I dropped my brush and left the art studio, I was going through an anxiety attack though no one noticed because I was masking it. I remember I left the studio with a certain art tool called a "lock knife" I rushed to the washrooms and had a meltdown. While crying I had suicidal thoughts, held on to the lock knife and placed it near my wrist. I wanted to end it all, I reached for my phone and called my then boyfriend and told him that I'm leaving and I just want to say goodbye because I sounded like I was from crying he quickly rushed to the art centre. I was in a crisis, fighting with my thoughts and the constant urge to want to harm myself. Immediately He came for me and took me to where my sister was and that's when I broke down more, I snapped out of that episode and she held me so tight. I was tired of being Autistic, I just wanted to be normal. I wanted to travel to the other end because I knew that any other planet was more accepting and accommodating than here on earth. The constant pressures of the Neurotypical world took a toll on me. My sisters took me under their care and I was guided and supported and with time I was me again. Little did I know that my fight wasn't over a few months later I was a pageant winner and I became an ambassador representing Kenyan Autistics through my experiences, to date I spread awareness on Autism. I'm winning every single day, networking with my community and changing the narrative. changing my story as an author;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; #Actuallyautistic #Suicidalpreventiondmonth#You'renotalone 

Brian54

Thank you so much for sharing with us. This is powerful. Isn’t it amazing though, how you thought your life had no meaning only for your to become an ambassador a few months later? The more reason I believe we should champion suicide prevention because often times, the silver lining is almost always just a stone throw away. #YouarenotAlone

BKiwu

Wow. Thank you for sharing your story @SarahBosibori

MikkiTarz

I'm happy that even in your darkest hour, you saw a light and you walked towards it. Making that call and the apt response and how your sister came to your aid. Its good to have a support system.

BKiwu

I believe once we train our minds to be positive in every situation we can do great things and be an encouragement to those of us struggling with suicidal thoughts. Its never easy but its possible. #YouarenotAlone

Wilie

Thanks for sharing this @SarahBosibori , we usually go through a lot. This goes a mile in motivating someone, that at the end of the day things work out and even become better.

#YouAreNotAlone

Brian54

One more thing we can learn from Sarah’s experience is that we should take suicide attempts seriously. Should anyone confide in us that they are contemplating to do it, we should react fast to get to them and help them seek help

BKiwu

The hardest part of suicide prevention is checking for the signs that indicate something is a miss. I would encourage people to have free spaces with each other where you can open up and speak out without feeling judged. A problem shared is half solved #YouAreNotAlone

MikkiTarz

With you coming out to speak about it, will help others too know that they're not alone. With the many pressures like I saw in university, it helps to share our experiences. #YouAreNotAlone

MikkiTarz

When you feel like you out of rope

That you barely pulling through

Don't be in despair and lose hope

Cause all what you've been through

Should be a testament of your strength

Of your ability to overcome

And in that same strength

I believe you still have it in you to become,

something more so just reach out

For there's always a way out

#YouAreNotAlone

MikkiTarz

I've been at the very end

Just one step and I'll i've come to my end

Cause everything was pushing me to the wall

And all i can do at this point is fall,

but when you at your lowest

The only way is always up

Cause its just another hard test

And since you there speak up,

that's already half the battle won

#YouAreNotAlone

Faith_EnableMe

Such a brave heart you are! There are so many of us struggling with mental health. Your story is an inspiration that #WeAreNotAlone The importance of talking to our loved ones about what we experience cannot be down played. Thank you for this❤️

verogakio

Wow thanks for sharing Sarah. This is very inspiring. It encouraged me to share of my attempt on the same. Dealing with a child with autism, the company I work for had just closed indefinitely plus I deal with a condition called endometriosis plus other stuff I still don't feel free to share got me suicide thought but my brother was there for me. I know he still worries about me whenever he sees me down.

Christinemiloyo

https://community.enableme.org/en/discussion/56772/my-experience-with-a-suicide-attempt

It is always darkest before dawn. It's always amazing how we find hope and support when we are at our tail end. Indeed suicide is never an option. The fact that winning the pageantry gave you a new sense of belonging and gave you reasons to hold on and fight on. It's clear that we can use our talents to defend our rights. #youarenotalone