Criticising a depressed partner: He withdraws, doesn't want to talk. What can I do?

Valuable_Discussions_EnableMe

Depr. partner (moderate to severe depr.) makes accusation with regard to my dealings with him (too little time, I'm the mother of a 14 year old child, have a job, I wrote a letter to him to explain... Partner reacts angrily, is outraged, doesn't understand the contents) and completely withdraws.. How am I supposed to deal with a depressed partner? He doesn't accept any explanations and doesn't talk any more... I can't stand the silence. Is this behaviour because of his illness? Are there other illnesses that I should consider? Until now he had withdrawn sometimes but not so drastically...

Valuable_Discussions_EnableMe

Response 1:

Hello OP , Your partner lives in a "different world" which is very black and dark. I know this from my own experience (depressed myself), these times are very bad for him too.

He can't understand you and can't feel you either, is he in treatment or does he plan to go to a clinic? That would be good for the three of you.

You can only protect yourself and ask him to see a doctor urgently. You also need a little time out to deal with your partner's illness, so that you can come out of the crisis stronger.

He urgently needs to see a specialist!

Wish you strength and power for the three of you, together you will make it.

Greetings

Response 2:

Hello OP,

We have received the following feedback from a psychotherapist regarding your concerns:

"Your partner's behaviour may well be illness-related. Depressed people often withdraw when they are disappointed and can no longer communicate their wishes and needs. Often, depressed people are then no longer ready for logical explanations or conversations, as they interpret events negatively and are usually also offended by how things have gone.

What can they do?

They could offer their partner another chat to clarify things and ask them what they need in this situation. They could consider to what extent they want to accommodate their partner and consider where their own limit is reached.

Basically, moderate or severe depression requires treatment, which means that your partner should seek psychiatric and/or psychotherapeutic help if he is not already in treatment.

From a distance, it is difficult to judge whether another condition is present."

Response 3:

Hi,

I have also received the following feedback from our expert:

"It is like this: if you have a partner with depression - and in this case the depression is also diagnosed, so it is not a depressive mood - then nothing works without professional help.

This means that the healthy partner cannot do anything to change the behaviour of the partner who is ill. This has to be done by a specialist in psychiatry/psychotherapy. The sick partner cannot be reached without specialist help.

For the partner who is not ill, it is imperative to take care of yourself and to accept professional help or counselling for relatives of mentally ill people. Counselling centres like these are usually affiliated with psychiatric hospitals or you can at least get the contact information for these there.